They are waiting and being kept waiting... endlessly.
This is not just a word in Indian ethnic value based societal set up.
It is a power shift. It symbolizes that worth will be granted to her only by a man and, by extension, by society as a whole.
Shakuntala was told to wait.
Sita was told to wait.
Draupadi was told to wait.
In the era of polygamous marriage, Kulin Brahmins used to have 40 to 100 wives. The fate of those wives was simply to wait; perhaps one day a year he would come, and they were expected to surrender to him on that day.
Even today, north india has a large pool of 'abandoned' or 'waiting' wives, longing for their husbands to take them 'saat samundar paar' (across the seven seas).
Why can’t Indian women decide or initiate anything in their personal relationships? Why are they treated as secondary objects regarding marriage and its decisions?
Let’s look at every aspect:
The Biological Waiting ( Act of God or Science)
She waits for her ovulation cycle once a month. (Act of Science)
Science dictates this, she cannot force or change it.
The Social Selection - She waits to be chosen based on her qualities and the desires of a man and his family. She is tested thoroughly; she is not loved freely, nor is she loved simply for her soul.
The Initiative and Stigma
Socially, she is expected to wait for the man to initiate love or intimacy. If she initiates, she is branded as having 'bad character.' If she chooses what she wants, she is judged.
The Will of Men- She must wait until the man is ready to 'take her home.' This is called marriage.
It cannot happen without his will, nor can it happen without her father’s consent.
The Futility of Proposal- She cannot easily propose to a man because, ultimately, if the man is not ready or keen to take her into his home, her love and her wait become meaningless.
The power to direct a relationship in our value system lies with the man. It is never equal.
In the end, a woman has to wait. She goes to his house and her emotional needs are often overlooked. 'Wait,' 'Patience,' and 'Adjust' are the three things women are taught from childhood; they are the words most heard. She waits to be loved, waits to conceive, waits to give birth, and waits to feed. It is an endless cycle.
Men are free from this specific wait. They face different pressures—to arrange and provide—but they do not wait. They are conditioned to take action based on their own will. In intimacy, the man holds the agency. He does not have to leave his home; everything is within his own setup. Consequently, the role of 'provider' is dumped on him. Men who cannot keep pace with this pressure feel societal weight in different forms.
They don’t wait. So the equation is- either the man is a provider and holds the power to make her wait, or we shift the power to her—to choose, to lead, and to take him with her or or on mutual ground.
Even in urban India, the legal setup is not equal regarding prenuptial agreements and property rights. So, we wait to be equal.
Wait, my dear Shakti... just wait and observe.
Power of the Wait or Make Awaited.
The 'Provider' vs. 'Receiver' Paradox is the trade-off for male agency is the 'provider' burden.
In India, according to the Periodic Labour Force Survey the female labor force participation rate has historically been low though rising recently to around 37% in last few years.
When women are not economically independent, 'waiting' becomes a survival strategy rather than a choice. Even if they earn , they have to wait to be chosen by him or accepted by him.
So the societal baggae of the word 'Wait' makes me feel very disrespected as a woman as an existence. Its never equal.
Why cant it be 'Lets build'. Let's take forward and grow and lets be in action to cover the time and space dimension .
Why it's just a hand of instruction ' Wait' just for her.